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Name: Cashew
Country: United States
State: Wyoming
Metro: Casper
Birthday: 3/12/1981
Gender: Male


Interests: Film, Cartoons, Cartooning
Expertise: Jack of All Trades, Master of None.
Occupation: Broadcast Journalist
Industry: Radio


Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM: cashewjack


Member Since: 10/18/2002
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Thursday, November 05, 2009

Open letters to people I know, some will read it, some wont...

As per Dragnet rules the names have been changed to protect the innocent, the guilty, and the me.

I find exercises like this to be pretty theraputic, and just know this is more for myself than anything else.

 

Dear Hot Blonde,

I don't know how many times I've written "You know, you're too hot" on your facebook wall, then deleted it before I submit it.  I delete it because I'm afraid you'll get the wrong idea of why I'm writing it.  I don't want you to think I'm trying to hit on you, I'm not.  I'm trying to let you know that I'm actually scared of you, and the fact that even though I know better... you could probably talk me into doing stuff I don't want to do, because you are in fact that good looking, and I am infact that lame.  Just do me a favor and don't notice that I've begun to notice you.  Because it's not for your mind.

-Trevor

 

Dear People Going Through Relationship Problems,

I know it's not going to make you feel better, but it should when I say, things are rough all over.  I have freinds on a national level, and I think 90% of them are going through either a large or small crisis when it comes to matters of the heart.  Just know that anyone reading this has carte blanche to call me and cry on my shoulder for a while, becasue sometimes you just need a friend.  Just know that, like the Godfather, I may ask a favor of you in return (after all, I'm going through some shit too), but until that day arrives consider this my offer in these days of the autumn transitions.

-Trevor

 

Dear Young Lady Of Whom I Think the World,

You have a streak of naivety that I find really refreshing in this otherwise disgusting world.  However,  pretty please... with sugar on top... and also on top: a tower with a princess, and she has pink hair, long eyelashes, and glittery lipstick.  That much pretty please.  Don't call me a teddy bear ever again.  I know you mean well... but it doesn't do me well and I don't have the emotional wearwithal to get angry about it anymore.  Just please don't do it.  Not now.

-Trevor

 

Dear "The Girl",

The only reason I haven't given up on you is that I'm just egotistical enough that I'm not going to let you get away with this by ignoring it.  I'm special enough that I don't deserve this.  You can stick your head in the sand all you want, I'm one bag of hot air that isn't going to blow over anytime soon.

I want my DVDs back.

-Trevor

 

Dear Namesake,

I'm a fucker and I'm sorry.

-Trevor

 

Dear Mentors,

Thank you so much.  You've given me countless opportunities and I really very much hope that I've met or exceeded your expectations.  However I feel you have finally and fully awoken a potentially very dangerous force within me.  This could be the road to glory or it could be the road to the most utter and bitter defeat I will ever suffer in my life.  But I know one thing... if I hadn't acknowledged that dark force, my life would've been wholly incomplete.

-Trevor

 

Dear Departing Buddies,

I hate that you're leaving before me.  I hate that you're succeeding at something I've been trying and failing to do for 26 years.  I hate it, it depresses me, it injures me, and it's all because it's bruising my ego.  However, deep down in those emotional places that we never know enough about, also know that I'm so terribly proud of you for all the same reasons.  I'm also proud that because of this... I'll have a fire under my ass to get it done myself.

-Trevor

 

Dear Ms. Toasted Windows

Being an internet friend, I know our conversations are few and far between.  But our last one, the "what you said to me" for whatever reason seems to have stuck more than from me telling the same thing to myself.  Thank you.

-Trevor

 

Dear Person I am calling "Mr. E",

We gravitate toward that which we find comfort in.  People generally do.  There's no reason not to want to.  However, sometimes we're supposed to break with what we find comfort in, because that which gives us comfort, will also give us great misery.  Think about all the misery you've been through in the past several months, and ask yourself, why you'd want to take the steps to do that all again?  Move on.  It'll hurt, and nothing can take that away, but to keep moving.  I'm not sure where the road leads, but heading backwards... you're not going to make it anywhere.

-Trevor

 

Dear Ms. Teller,

I'm going to hit on you.  I can't help it.  You're too cool.  Just be up front with me about if I'm going to get anywhere and give me periodic reports on how I'm doing.  Face it.  I'm just not good at this.  But... I'm fun at parties.

-Trevor

 

Dear Special Cereal,

It's too soon.  You're too young.  And I love the kid because I know how to deal with him, but that doesn't stop him from being a self righteous prick.  Listen to your friends.  They're right.  Not asking you to stop.  Just asking you to give it more time.

-Trevor

 

Dear Robbiefan,

You're breaking my heart.  Seriously.  I'm not sure how to tell you that because I'm not sure you want to hear it.  But maybe it's just time to focus on the problems at hand.  The ones that you're paying top dollar to endure.  Honestly, solitude is a hard won ally, but that doesn't mean that it's also a constant enemy either.  Just relax, deep breaths.  People like you never have this problem for long if they don't want it.

-Trevor

 

Dear 1/2 of a 1/2 gallon and a leg joint,

I've been preaching at you a lot and dispensing advice that you probably don't want to hear.  So I'm going to stop.  You're a big person and you can make your own decisions.  But, I think that you think that you're a terrible person.  You're not.  Far from it.  I find you charming, funny, and quite lovely.  And I KNOW I'm not the only one.  Just remember.  You're good people.  I wouldn't make it a point to be around you when possible if you weren't.

-Trevor

 

Dear Me,

Suppose I accidently got my shit together...

-Trevor


Tuesday, November 03, 2009

This could be a bad thing.

Everytime I'm in a sour mood, I try and listen to music to perk up my spirits.

 

For some reason lately... it all comes down to either The Rolling Stones or Queen.

Specifically, lately...

Princes of the Universe- Queen

Sympathy for the Devil- The Stones

 

I can't put my finger on why.  But I always feel better after hearing them.

 

Power and evil.

 

This could be a bad thing. 


Monday, November 02, 2009

This Will Not Leave My Head

So it will be in your head.  At least momentarily.

 


Saturday, October 31, 2009

So this is Halloween? No. It's The 120 Minute Hour.

Happy Halloween.  Remember that if you're not covered in blood, sipping cider, munching on stuff that's REALLY not good for you, watching scary movies, or scaring the bejesus out of people... you're doing it wrong.

And that goes out to the Fundementalist Christians too.  The ones that hand out the "Evils of Halloween" Chick Tracts instead of candy on Halloween.  You people are the scariest of all.

But tonight marks another Holiday for me.  Markedly, a more important holiday for me.  Which is amazing, because when asked, Halloween usually tops my list of favorite Holidays.  But this is usually because I don't want to go through the whole shoot and shebang about the "120 Minute Hour."  But since the nature of a "blog" is to go through various shoots and shebangs, here it is for you.

It started, like so many other stories from this era of my life, at Denny's.  Long before all of the Denny's in Wyoming closed down, and long before the vacant Denny's building in my town burned to the ground in a blaze of glory (we still all suspect insurance fraud) that semi-24 hour restaurant was a place that we probably would have been more comfortable calling "home" than our actual houses.  This being the case however, we (read: me) were still young enough to be affected by parent imposed curfews.  Mine, was a very liberal 1:00 am.

I love my parents.  Concerned, but fair.

In any event, it started on a dark October night, which I can only imagine was bitterly cold and there was snow on the ground.  Not because I have any kind of vivid recollection of the day, but because this is Casper, Wyoming and in late October it's ALWAYS bitterly cold with snow on the ground.

In my minds eye, ALL of the Denny's regulars were there that night.  But realistically, it was probably just my buddies Eric, Jon, and Myself.  We sat comiserating, philosphizing, and otherwise acting like the pretentious high school pricks that we were.  In any event, we must've been having a good time, because as the hour drew closer for me to turn into a pumpkin and go home, I remember being disappointed to cut the evening off.  However, it was observed to me that since it was daylight saving's time, and when the clocks were turned back at 2 AM, it would really be 1 AM, thus I could stay out an hour later and still observe my 1 AM curfew.

It was then decided that since you get you live your 1 AM hour twice, we dubbed the phenomenon "The 120 Minute Hour".  Now I'm not sure if it was that night that we started the screenplay or if it was a subsequent night.  But the point is that Eric, Jon, and I began a screenplay that we intended to shoot ourselves, about The 120 Minute Hour.

In the movie, we would've been given several different short stories, all taking place in a Denny's.  The one's I can remember involve an overly eloquent person preaching the joys of smoking to a non-smoker, an older man hitting on girls who were legal but not exactly ethically within his dating range (we're talking 60/18 here), a group of older ladies that complain about everything, and a man (admittedly an idealistic version of myself) who was hopelessly romantic and carried around a pink lighter as a talisman to attract women (also, oddly autobiographical).

During the first 1 AM hour, we'd explore these people their situations and their characters.  But when Fay, the Denny's waitress, turned back the clock... everything changed.  All of a sudden the non-smoker had picked up the habit and was eloquently singing the praises of smoking, all the while his smoker friend thought that maybe he was over-doing it just a bit and may want to cut back before smoking an enitre pack in one sitting.  The hopless romantic is now surrounded by shallow bubbly girls, but is somehow drawn away from them to a book-wormish girl in the corner reading Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and they leave together- the pink lighter being left behind on the table.  Not sure I remember how the old man and the table of old women changed... but the point is, at the hour everything turned an almost complete 180.

The whole thing was to be narrated by two observers "Hep Cat" (played by Jon) in the first hour and "Drifter" (played by Eric) in the second.  Who would show the stark contrasts and underline that in life you can always change and there really are no rules.

The notebooks that this completed screenplay was scribbled in have been lost to time, the landfill, or Jon's parent's house.  And truth be told, looking back now, it had a lot of week points and really lacked a solid through-line.  But I remember that we had some genuinely interesting and funny dialogue, and I still think that the concept could be interesting to explore.

However from the screenplay about The 120 Minute Hour, came the annual observence of the holiday itself.  For many people that were in the Denny's collective, and for several people who heard the story thereafter  (the legend was taken to several coffeeshops in the years following) the REAL 120 Minute hour was a time for reflection, change, and exploration.  Since you get to re-live an hour of your life, one of those hours doesn't count.  So if you want to do something crazy, or resolve to change something, we decided that the night of daylight saving's "fall back" was the night to do it.

One 120 minute hour was spent with residents of Cheyenne, Wyoming observing the traditions of yesteryear established by my friends in Casper.  Eating straight sugar packets (paper and all) and taking straight creamer shots.  And of course planning the future. 

Another was spent, once again at coffee, with people sitting around a table discussing the past and talking about exactly how small a world we live in.  For example, a man whom I'd never met came to see my friend "Krootboy".  Sitting with Krootboy, the stranger from New Mexico, and a friend of mine who shall not be named, it was determined that a scary sexual encounter that the unnamed man had with a married woman after high school, turned out that the girl was married to the guy who was a best friend of my good friend from elementary school and was also friends with krootboy.  For years, the story of the creepy liason that the man-with-no-name had been simply and amusing story to tell.  However, now it turns out that we all knew the people involved, but this conclusion would not have been made without the stranger from New Mexico (who also knew the people involved) to fill in the blanks.

Yet another was spent, not in reflection of the past, but with eyes cast to the future.  To love, romance, ethics, and hero worship.  It was also spent in Europe... which is probably why things were so optimistic that year.

In every 120 Minute Hour, there is a turning point in my life.  Sometimes small and sometimes large.  Even with the screenplay itself, life oddly mirrored art.  I had been hanging around some pretty shallow people when we wrote the script, but oddly ended up dating a well-read girl who had a deep appreciation for Douglas Adams.

So, in a nutshell, The 120 Minute Hour is my "New Years Eve" so to speak.  It's when I make resolutions, reflect on my life, and decide what direction I need to be going.  This year, I have a lot to ponder.  Stuff I won't bore you with, but to you all I raise my glass and toast:

If you had a shitty year last year, may this year find you better.  If you had a wonderful year last year, may this year still find you better.

Happy 120 Minute Hour everyone.

Oh.  Yeah.

And Happy Halloween.


Friday, October 30, 2009

THIS DAY IN HISTORY...

"...With infinite complacence people went to and fro over the earth about their little affairs, serene in the assurance of their dominion over this small spinning fragment of solar driftwood which by chance or design man has inherited out of the dark mystery of Time and Space. Yet across an immense ethereal gulf, minds that to our minds as ours are to the beasts in the jungle, intellects vast, cool and unsympathetic, regarded this earth with envious eyes and slowly and surely drew their plans against us. In the thirty-ninth year of the twentieth century came the great disillusionment.

It was near the end of October. Business was better. The war scare was over. More men were back at work. Sales were picking up. On this particular evening, October 30, the Crosley service estimated that thirty-two million people were listening in on radios."

-Orson Welles, War of the Worlds 10/30/38



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